Too Much of That Bootleg Liquor, Not Near Enough Champagne

DON’T EVER GET ARRESTED IN FAYETTEVILLE, AR! The old adage of being locked away and forgotten came true for Adrianna Torres-Flores (No relation to Roseanne Roseanna-Danna). Ms. Torres-Flores was locked in a holding cell and left there for FOUR DAYS. No food, no water, no bed, no blanket, no toilet. Apparently, no one works at the jail over the weekends.

When they found her on Monday, she was incoherent and dehydrated (not unlike most people in NW Arkansas, I suppose). She was rushed to the local medical center. And she’ll be fine. But you gots to watch out for that Ozark justice.

It seems the bailiff somehow “forgot” to arrange for her to be transported to an actual cell. And then it was a snow day. And then he went possum huntin’. And dang it if he didn’t drink too much moonshine on Saturday night and plum fergit to swing by the jail on Sunday. ‘Sides, Sundays is God’s day of rest and he couldn’t risk goin’ ta hell now, could he?

Or was it because she was accused of being part of a bootleg DVD/CD ring? Not that Arkansas hasn’t seen its share of bootlegging, but I could just hear the DA now. “We don’t need them people bringing in any more letters! We got plenty a alphabet. Don’t need no more.”

And why is it that seeing a stupid story with a dateline of Arkansas doesn’t EVER surprise me? Same goes for Alabama and certain parts of Louisiana. I mean, isn’t it well into the 21st Century? Aren’t we advanced enough and rich enough that there shouldn’t be pockets of abject ignorance?

It just really seems that we could do better. That education could be a higher priority than, oh, say—building sand castles in the middle east.