Thursday, October 28, 2010

Witchy Poo and the Amendments, or What’s in First?

So, witch-dabbler, Teabagger Senate candidate and walking punchline Christine O’DonnelL appeared on a local radio station in Delaware to spread her message of enlightened ignorance. As usually happens these days, the radio interview was also videotaped (most radio shows have live webcams of their broadcasts).

The O’Donnell campaign was apoplectic (that means “really mad,” Christine—don’t sue me!) and demanded that the video be turned over and destroyed. (Uh, pick one. They can’t turn it over AND destroy it. Chain of custody. Dumb ass.)

The best part was when O’Donnell’s attorney (I’m picturing a baby-faced ideologue with a third-rate law degree in an ill-fitting hand me down suit) called the station to say he would “crush” them with a lawsuit if they didn’t turn the tape over.

The stations attorney apparently suggested that the campaign lawyer might need a bottle and a nap—and maybe a refresher first year constitutional law class. Because, you see, there is nothing illegal about videotaping a guest on a radio show. In fact, the action is protected by the First Amendment.

Apparently, when told of the response, Christine (the candidate, not the haunted car) rolled her eyes and said, “THAT’S in the First Amendment?!?!?” When told that, in fact, it was, O’Donnell said. “Somebody get me a copy of that thing. What the fuck ISN’T in there?”

If you’ll recall, Ms. O’Donnell (who apparently thinks her first name means she’s related to Christ) has been having lots of confusion about the First Amendment lately. Given all the new information she’s been getting lately, it wouldn’t surprise me if the crazy lady decides to “plead the first” the next time she doesn’t want to answer a difficult question.

Seriously, people, can you imagine this woman in the Senate? I mean, sure, we’d have a few laughs as we watched h the American empire continue to crumble on the shoulders of the O’Donnells and Angles. It would certainly give me plenty of blog fodder. But honestly, shouldn’t John Cornyn really be the low water mark for a Senator? Anything worse than Cornyn should be against the law. Isn’t that in the first amendment?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Okie Smokie

Yesterday, the state of Arizona executed convicted killer Jeffrey Landrigan. His final words were “Boomer Sooners!” OU’s official response was, “riiiight. Like YOU have a college education.” Funny, but I would have thought from his picture that a cry of "soooooooooeeeeee! Pig! Pig! Pig!" would have been a much more likely finale.

As a University of Texas alum, it crossed my mind that being an OU alum shouldn’t be a crime worthy of the death penalty. Especially since being an OU alum is a bit like a life sentence anyway.

And before you start thinking, “what a stupid murderer,” consider this: he was smart enough to escape from an Oklahoma prison.

{Probably when they asked for his papers in Arizona and he pulled out a pack of Zig-Zag, they decided he was too stupid to live there. That's saying something.)

Oh yeah! He had steak for his last meal. Dude, don't you know that shit will stay in your colon FOREVER!

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Hollow Promise of Hope

I’m confounded by our President. Yesterday, he released a message for the “It Gets Better” campaign, the now rampant effort started by Dan Savage to help victims of bullying keep the faith. Loads of Hollywood types have already chimed in here, and even a Fort Worth City Council member delivered a heartfelt and tearful personal plea from the dais last week. All good stuff.

I will even let it slide that he’s a bit late to the party (Can’t say “tardy,” people. No free bad wig promotions here. At least not today.) Politicians are notorious for checking the temperature of the water before they wade in like it was a bubble bath or something. No, what really, really gets me is that our President is CONTRIBUTING to the atmosphere that tells bullies “it’s okay to pick on the fag kids.”

President Obama has pledged to end Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in our military. As with so many issues of concern to the gay community, the debate around DADT and it’s potential repeal have centered on the interaction in the ranks between heteros and homos, the tension in the showers for the men (nobody seems to care about lesbians in the women’s ranks—probably because some General thinks that’s hot) and the accompanying morale problems. Even though every single country that has allowed gay and lesbian soldiers to serve openly has had almost no integration issues, the smartest, greatest country on earth continues to cave in to the basest fears, no matter how irrational.

Each branch of our armed services prides itself on “molding” its men and women—teaching them, ingraining in them that they don’t question orders. They react. When told to jump, they say “how high?” And then they go for a run while singing nursery school rhymes (I don’t know, but I’ve been told . . .)

But let’s forget all of that for a moment. The Pentagon is busy “studying” the repeal and its impact. Uh huh. Like they haven’t already studied the shit out of this issue. But it’s just before a mid-term election and the nutwings and asshats are out in full force. Talk about Halloween coming early!

And then SOME JUDGE (and tell me when, exactly, it became okay to criticize the role of judges? Are some of you constitutional realists forgetting that there are THREE branches of government, each empowered to check the others? Dumbfuckery) decides to say that DADT is discriminatory and therefore must be struck down. Good on ya, Judge. That’s exactly why you’re there. To check the political cowardice/gamesmanship from the other two branches.

Sooooo, you would think the Obama administration would use the moment to avoid the political fallout. “We would have preferred a legislative solution . . . but what can you do?” would have walked that fine middle line. Problem solved. They take no heat.

But they decided to appeal. They decided to appeal a decision they think is right, something they were already planning to do. (Let’s not even talk about how DADT was done by Executive Order. Doesn’t that mean that it could simply be UNDONE by Executive Order?)

Mr. President, the message you are sending is that STILL, somehow, Gays and Lesbians are "less than." And THAT, sir, is precisely why some kids feel it's okay to bully them. And PRECISELY why, too many of those kids are taking their own lives. How would you feel, sir, if YOUR government leaders sent a message that it was okay to bully Sasha and Malia every day for being African-American. I'm sure none of that goes on at Sidwell Friends. But it would be wrong. Wrong in every way.

We need your LEADERSHIP ON THIS. Take off your underoos and put on your big boy pants.

This President was elected on a platform of HOPE. And I hoped that he would be the best President ever. I have defended him against his detractors, begged for time, asked for a long view. Now I can’t even ask those things of myself. I’m losing hope quickly, because I thought, of all people, THIS President just might do what was RIGHT, rather than what was politically expedient.

Especially since he doesn’t seem to be able to manage the politics very well.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Good Morning, Senator Asshat! Good day, Governor Nutjob!

It’s been a long time since I dropped anything here. In case there’s anyone left still checking in, lo siento mucho. Not sure what killed my stupid gag reflex, maybe the California summer, maybe the fact that I’m actually doing paying work. (Who knew you could actually make $$$ from this blogging thing?)

Lately though, I have begun suffering from Stupid Tourette’s. Are you fucking kidding me? I take a few months off and the US of A LOSES ITS FUCKING MIND?

Christine O’Donnell? FUCK! Carl Paladino? MOTHERFUCKER! Sharon Angle? FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! Certifiably crazy and spewing complete and utter horseshit. In any other election cycle, these people would be the candidates from the “Bless Your Heart” party. Yet here they are as major party nominees for GINORMOUS public offices. Also, does anyone else think Meg Whitman looks like Kristin Wiig’s character with the tiny hands from SNL? Maybe she can sell ad space on that forehead to pay off campaign debt. Or, if she actually wins (shudder) maybe use it for PSAs against gay marriage. If she IS elected, I’m going to be watching closely to see if a tiny hand creeps out to lay on that bible.

And apparently gay is the new black. Rachel Maddow did an entire segment last night about how the same tactics are being employed in 2010 as in 1964, with gay civil rights now being the straw man as Satan’s Little Helper, with full on rehashed Jim Crow-esque philosophies being espoused. WTF?

Have all the smart people left the building? Hello? Anyone?

I remember when facts were the ultimate trump card. The “gotcha” moments were when a candidate was caught getting the facts wrong and was turned out publicly. Now, Tea Party candidates simultaneously mock the fact that a smart candidate thinks the separation of church and state is laid out in the 1st Amendment (it is!) and tries to block the press from covering events in Alaska. Ummm, maybe those words don’t mean what you think they mean.

As for me, I think I’m going to have plenty to comment on for the next few . . .