Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Even Jesus Thinks You’re Stupid

You know, for people who quote from the Bible an awful lot, I’m amazed how often the hardcore Christians miss the finer points. You know, the really cryptic stuff like, LOVE YOUR FELLOW MAN and JUDGE NOT. That kind of thing. Of course, in Texas we are the Kings of Selective Religion. We use the Bible to justify a panoply of hateful feelings towards those we consider to be “sinners.” I’m quite certain this happens all over this great land, but I get a front row seat here in the Lone Star State.

And now, the High Point Church, a megachurch in Arlington, TX have joined their brethren in showing what true Christian love really means. Recently, their longtime janitor, Cecil Howard Sinclair, died. His family wanted his funeral to be at the church where he worked. He was also a Navy veteran, exactly the kind of loyal, patriotic, God fearing, hard-working dead guy you’d think High Point wanted to praise. They thought so, too. They even made a video.

And then the obit was published. See, Sinclair was gay. And the obituary listed his life partner as one of his survivors. AS IT SHOULD!!!

But the church got real squeamish real fast and REFUSED to hold the funeral service there. According to USA TODAY, The “pastor” Gary Simons (who happens to be married to Joel Osteen’s sister) claimed that nobody knew the janitor “was gay until the day before the Thursday service, when staff members putting together his video tribute saw pictures of men ‘engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.’”

What? No penetration? No farm animals? Nope. Not even a lustful gaze. Just “clear affection.” Not unlike a husband would show a wife or vice versa. It really makes me want to spread the word that Rev. Simons worked on a GAY video. It’s true. Even if it implies untruth.

I’m surprised Simons didn’t say something like, “He was real manly. He didn’t lisp or swish when he was mopping. He didn’t wear any kind of makeup to clean the toilets. There was that one time he poked me in the butt with a broom handle, but we laughed it off as manly horseplay.”

The article continued: “Simons said the church believes homosexuality is a sin, and it would have appeared to endorse that lifestyle if the service had been held there. ‘We did decline to host the service — not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,’ Simons told The Associated Press. ‘Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it — yes, we would have declined then. It's not that we didn't love the family.’

“IT’S NOT THAT WE DIDN’T LOVE THE FAMILY?!?!?!?!!?!? You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me!

Simons and his minions don’t know the meaning of love, especially not in a spiritual way.

He tried to excuse his bigotry and fear by pointing out that, (according to the article), “the church offered to pay for another site for the service, made the video and provided food for more than 100 relatives and friends. "Even though we could not condone that lifestyle, we went above and beyond for the family through many acts of love and kindness," Simons said.

Fuck you, asshole. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s a funeral. And there's a special place in Hell with your name on it.

Jesus would have handled it better.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cecil's body needs to be offered to the wind, burned on a pyre, on top of a mountain, after all he is a part of the energy that flows around us. I doubt that anyone would want to lay their body in a rightwing christian cemetery gay or not.

hokgardner said...

I just listened to a fascinating This American Life called "Godless America." One of the pieces was a reading by Julia Sweeney about her revelations while taking bible study classes at her church. She was amazed at what you learn if you read the WHOLE bible, not just what your pastor tells you to - like that Jesus was pretty cranky a lot of the time. And Mr. Family Values turned his back on his mother, sending one of his followers out to shoo Mary away saying that his disciples were his family, not her. And he told his disciples not to marry and if they were already married they should abandon their wives and children and cleave only unto him.

I bet Mr. Osteen never talks about that kind of stuff in his mega-sermons.

O'Pine said...

oooh. "mega-sermon." me likey.

hokgardner said...

What other kind of sermon can you have in a mega-church??