Friday, March 30, 2007

Oh, Sweet Jesus!

From today. It seems that Bill Donohue, the President of the Catholic League who perpetually has his panties in a wad, has found a new target. The artist Cosimo Cavallaro has a new piece in an exhibit at Lab Gallery in New York. It’s called “My Sweet Lord” and is a 6-foot tall chocolate Jesus.

LOVE it! Wanna lick it. Can’t wait for the next communion. (Might I recommend a nice California zinfandel as the sacramental wine? It would pair well with chocolate Jesus.)

Now apparently, this isn’t a reference to a black Jesus, the controversial theory that sends Southern Baptists into apoplexy—which makes me all for it. No, I’m guessing the symbolism is fairly simplistic. But Padre Donohue thinks it’s “one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever.” REALLY?!?!?

You’d put a chocolate Jesus up there with Roman lions and Spanish inquisitors and Tammy Faye Bakker? (And I won’t even begin to talk about the “Christian” assaults on MY sensibilities.)

But chocolate Jesus? I mean, don’t all churchgoers, especially Catholics, eat a representation of Christ every Sunday?!?! Isn’t that what the priest means when he says, “body of Christ” before he sticks his wafer in your mouth. (Get your minds out of the gutter---there’s not room for both of us there!)

Donohue finds the whole thing tasteless, especially just before Easter. Oh, yeah. Easter. The holiday where we celebrate the DEATH and RESURRECTION of our “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” by hiding plastic eggs, dressing in pastels and eating CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNIES! So, shut the hell up, dude. You know you make an easter basket every year—and there ain’t one thing Jesus-y in there!

And “tasteless?” You better have another lick.

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