Monday, March 19, 2007

Fetal Attraction

You know, I don’t always want this blog to have a gay slant. Even though I did go to the Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter School of Bad Wigs and Bitchery. But it is my calling to root out hypocrisy wherever it may rear its ugly head. And in this case, trust me, this guy’s ugly head is shoved all the way up his own rear.

As you all know, we can always count on the Southern Baptists for a good laugh. Or a good scare. Usually both at the same time.

Last week, The Rev. R. Albert Mohler, Jr. posted a groundbreaking bit of progressive wisdom on his website. Then promptly lit it on fire. Seems the Good Rev. is telling his flock to prepare for irrefutable scientific evidence that homosexuality is genetic. Wha? But, Reverend Mohler, Jr, that would make it God’s will, right?

Don’t bet your electroshock therapy on it. See RAM, Jr. thinks it’s the perfect time to get people talking about “fixing” their unborn child’s homosexuality. In the womb. Pre-birth.

Okay, DOUBLE WHA?!?!?! Let me get this straight. You’re saying it’s okay to mess with an unborn fetus? To satisfy your own moral agenda?

So that means you support a woman’s right to choose? Oh no! The sanctity of life is precious and begins with a kiss on a first date, or in the case of the Baptists, a first dance.

Stem cell research? HELL no! Can’t sully the sanctity of the womb for a little ground-breaking life-saving medicine (practically VOODOO), now can we?

But if it’s a GAY baby, do what it takes, doc! Poke. Prod. Experiment. (sounds just like gay grownups). Besides, everyone knows life for gays doesn’t begin until midnight.

I have to say that I’m pleased that our country is starting to react to these fuckwad crazies appropriately—by making them the butt of jokes. See, it’s only when we take them seriously that they gain traction. So, thanks for the laugh, you sick bastard. And if by some strange chance the means to change a baby’s sexual orientation comes about, just remember one thing: There are lots of people who will be switching their straight babies gay. Now, if we could just find that “idiot off” switch.


Anonymous said...


jmKelley said...

To acknowledge that God just might create some people as gay (as God created some people left-handed) would throw their whole fundamentalist interpretation of the Bible into question.

So in the face of growing medical evidence that sexual orientation is given at birth, some fundamentalists are preparing a way to still justify their prejudice against gays-- by claiming it's a treatable disease.

Here's a link to an excellent essay by a Baptist minister who had a change of heart on this issue:

P.S. Father Mychal Judge, the NY fire chaplain who died on 9/11, was openly gay (though celibate). His whole life was an imitation of Christ and he was seen by many as a living saint. Fr. Mychal famously asked, "Is there so much love in the world that we can afford to discriminate against any kind of love?"