Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Jesus Saves. At Wal Mart.

On the way home from the airport Monday, I passed a pickup truck with a couple of bumper stickers on it. The first read, “Got Jesus?” in the “Got Milk?” font. The other one said “Real Men Love Jesus.”

Now, as soon as I stopped sputtering about how unoriginal contemporary Christians are in their messaging (some would say a trait shared with the original Christians, but I won’t go there) I began wondering which advertising clichés had been rejected. For your consideration.

Jesus. The Other White Meat.

Jesus is Grrrrreat!

Jesus. The Quicker Picker Upper.

You Are Now Free To Move About Jesus

Frosted Lucky Jesus, He’s Magically Delicious!

I’d Like to Buy The World a Jesus

Just Jesus It

Jesus. Lifts and Separates.

Have It Jesus’ Way

Where’s the Jesus?

Jesus Brings Good Things to Life

Can You Hear Me Now, Jesus?

Sometimes you feel like a Jesus. Sometimes you don’t.

Feel free to submit your own. And if you've actually seen one of these on a bumper sticker, let me know.

PS For all you hater Christians who read this, I'm not making fun of Jesus. I'm making fun of YOU!


thirdcoast2leftcoast said...

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz oh what a relief Jesus is...

see you in Hell - I'll save you a spot by the pool. HILARIOUS

Anonymous said...

No jesus stuff, but I saw a buddhist vaccum cleaner for sale, it comes with no attachments. Pa rum pum ...

Anonymous said...

is that how you spell vacum or vaccum ? Ones a machine the others a sex act not to say a sex machine is not an act....... oh boy I digress... is that how you spell digress ?!!???

Anonymous said...

two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, jesus, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

O'Pine said...


And I forgot to mention one of my all time favorite pieces of grafitti:

Cheeses Is Lard

Anonymous said...

jesus, jeez that goes crunch