You Can't Handle The Truth!!

Nan vs. Oprah!!!! Okay, this is some deliciousness.

Apparently, Nan Talese, the publishing legend responsible for James Frey’s memoir, A Million Little Pieces, has decided that Oprah has gotten a little too big for her britches. At a book conference right here in the Lone Star State, Talese took Oprah to task for her ambush of Frey when he came on the show to deliver his mea culpa for not being completely truthful in his memoir. She said that Oprah owed Frey an apology for her (Oprah's) behavior. So far, no comment from Oprah, but don’t you just know there’s going to be a horse’s head in Talese’s bed or some shit like that. After all, “Oprah” spelled backward is “Don’t Fuck With Me Bitch!”

In related news, a judge has ruled that Random House, Frey’s publisher, must pay $2.35 million to people who bought the book believing it to be a work of “non-fiction.” These are apparently the same people who still think professional wrestling is legit and reality TV is . . . real.

WAKE THE FUCK UP, people! It wasn’t a fucking textbook. You bought it to give yourself a nice summer read and guess what? You got it. Everyone I know who read the book, loved the book. Does it make it less of a good book because it’s not true? (If you say “yes,” I’m calling bullshit).

All this controversy could have been handled through one simple action. MOVE THE EFFIN' BOOK TO THE FICTION SECTION. Frey didn’t need to apologize. Oprah didn’t need to aggrandaize. And Random House certainly doesn’t owe a bunch of numbnuts a refund because they were tricked into believing fiction was fact. If that’s the new bellweather, then FOX News better open up the checkbook.