Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Darwin = Santa

Last Thursday, the pack of Republicans who want to be our next president got together for a chat (honestly, no one actually “debates” anymore) at the Ronald Reagan Library. It seems everybody and his dog is running. And why the hell not? Wouldn’t YOU want to succeed W? How good will our next President look by comparison? Economy in the shitter? Hey, at least it’s better than W! World War 3? At least W’s not at the helm! Just by comparison, our next prez could be The Best President Ever. But imagine if he or she actually DOES something. But let’s talk about the Republicans again.

During the debate, Rudy Giuliani said he was (sort of) pro-choice—the only candidate to stake out such equivocal ground. He said he was "personally opposed" but believed it was a woman's right to choose. Especially if that woman happens to be the woman you're cheating on your wife with, who happens to get knocked up. She should have a choice.

The real revelation, though, was when the candidates were asked, “How many of you don’t believe in evolution?” Are you ready? As if it weren’t enough that they would even ASK such a question, three candidates (all of whom already hold public office) ACTUALLY RAISED THEIR HANDS. Former Gov. Mike Huckabee of Arkansas, Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado, and Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas.

‘Scuse me? You don’t BELIEVE in evolution? What DO you believe in, The Easter Bunny? You don’t have to believe we’re descended from apes, and you may actually believe that God really only put in one hard week’s worth of work in his life, but you can’t deny the existence of proven science (Although, come to think of it, GW Bush has made a career of it.)

I mean, I understand that you’re trying to pander to the Religious Right, but seriously dudes, that’s like saying you don’t believe in hair.

Now you just look like fucking idiots (although I admit that was a short trip). And managed to prove Darwin’s Theory of National Selection. (Funny how that works, huh?)

That’s right. We can stick a fork in you guys. You’re done. We’ve already had one stupendously ignorant President (They call it “the Yale Exception). You can’t fool us again.

Or in the words of GW, “Effool ma cain foolmagin.”


Anonymous said...

I love the smell of republican bashing in the morning. It's almost as good as napalm, but not quite....

marthachick said...

But hold on, dear

Science, just like everything else, requires a morself of belief. There is no concrete PROOF of evolution -- no photos of something caught in the act of evolving -- that I know of. There's just better evidence than there is, say, of Zoroaster's reign (or W's brain). So the question about "believing in evolution," while leading and targeted, I grant you, was a fair one.

Better to know where they stand -- that they don't believe in one of the basic tenets of science, and more importantly, to have a big hint as to who they plan to cater to.

It's not quite the same as saying you don't believe the Holocaust happened, or something else like that. Evolution is still a theory after all.