Monday, December 18, 2006

Christan Coalition Ousts Do-Gooder

I received a nice email from my friend NOLA GUY. He wanted to make sure I’d seen Frank Rich’s column “Mary Cheney’s Bundle of Joy.” Quite a good read, as is most of Mr. Rich’s work.

Somewhere near the end of the article, there was one sentence that caught my eye.

“The Christian Coalition parted ways with its new president-elect, a Florida megachurch pastor, Joel Hunter, after he announced that he would take on bigger issues like poverty and global warming.”


You see, The Coalition (spawn of Pat Robertson) wants to focus solely on the high-impact issues of abortion and same-sex marriage. Uh-huh. I know. God’s work.

According to Rich’s article, “Dr. Hunter said his departure from the Christian Coalition indicated his belief in the rise of an evangelical Christian constituency that is less interested in the passage of certain laws and focused instead on ‘living what Jesus would do.’“

Now I already figured that the Christian Coalition is on God’s list of “Yeah . . . not my best work,” but THEY PARTED WAYS with a leader who wanted to use their considerable might to ease suffering on a global scale.

Now, I think we’d all acknowledge that there is consderable power in religion (Hey, I read The DaVinci Code), but wouldn’t it be great if those who wear their Christianity like a giant glow stick around their neck would use their powers for good and not evil? For uniting, not dividing, as their secular leader (or is he non-secular—I get confused), GW BUSH is so fond of saying?

(that panting sound you hear is me NOT holding my breath)

“We’re a political organization, and there’s a way to do things . . .” said Roberta Combs, Chairwoman of the Christian Coaltion. “Joel had a different way of doing things . . .”

Hey, Lady! (best read in vintage Jerry Lewis voice)—you’re supposed to be a CHRISTIAN, i.e. a follower of CHRIST. And there’s a little thing called separation of Church and State. Keep your chocolate out of our peanut butter! (And someone check on their tax-free status!!!)

Hunter called the split “amicable.” How Christian of him.

BREAKING NEWS: Sources close to the Coalition have revealed exclusively to AOTSP that they are in talks with The Farting Preacher to become their next president. His positions are said to be much more in line with the values of their constituency.

EXTRA: Now, smart, smart readers, if you want a big, fat chuckle, search Google images for a picture of the Divine Miss Roberta Combs. Why is it that hardcore Christian women always look like a hillbilly version of a lipstick lesbian? And you know in your hearts, YOU KNOW that no one but a big ol’ back-country queen could have done that hair! OMG! Where’s her synthesizer? I want to pogo!

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