Had to do a little client traveling this week. And while airports are usually the mother lode for post topics, it was actually the rental car counter that gave me this gem of customer service.
I was cheerily greeted by Sam, welcoming to WonkyWagonWental. Sam took my license and credit card, then began his routine of routine conversation. “You’re from Austin, huh?”
“Yes, but I’m in the process of moving to California.”
“Oh! California’s nice. Are you moving out there for work . . . retirement . . .?”
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? You just asked me if I’m RETIRED? Fuck me. No, fuck you! AARP hasn’t even started sending me solicitations yet, and they start when you’re FIFTY!!
Oh, Sam, Sam, Sam. Your mama would not be proud. Of course you probably tried to bury her when she was in her early sixties.
“Now, mama, simmer down. It’s inevitable. Might was well go ahead and get ‘er done now. We’re burning daylight.”
As I walked to my car, all I could think was, "if that motherfucker gave me a Buick . . ."