OMG. Thank God the Olympics are over. (I’m sorry, I mean the “winter Olympic games.” Technically only the SUMMER games can be called the Olympics. But only Jacques Rogge and some Dutch woman with a wooden shoe in her ass actually insist on the distinction.)
Yesterday, I spent the better part of two hours watching a tape delayed telecast of a marathon on skis. WTF? And of course, there’s no counter-programming. No one even bothers to put ANYTHING else on TV for the two weeks. Being a sports fan in general, though, it was seriously disappointing to know the results of every event before the telecast even began.
So I guess my beef isn’t so much with the Big O’s as much as it is with NBC. The laziness with which they covered these games was appalling. They had obviously identified the “stories” of the games, built their packages and rammed ‘em down our throats, regardless of the outcomes of the races. Lindsey Vonn is the BEST BLONDE SKIER EVER!! Doesn’t matter that one of her teammates (whose name I can’t remember) actually out skied her. LINDSEY VONN!
And I totally get rooting for the home team, but the O’s are supposed to transcend borders. Yet, NBC’s team would go to any length to get the AMERICAN story in each event.
“Uter Hundrlinr has just shattered the world record!!! But look at that AMERICAN, young Jimmy Whippersnapper! He said himself that anything better than a 30th place finish would be a personal triumph. And he’s at 28!!!!! WHAT A STORY!!!” Yeah, there's a headline for you.
Unless of course it was the Austrian skier who had almost died or something and here he was now winning everything. Uh . . . dudes? Just because you’re broadcasting this during the day doesn’t mean it has to be like daytime television.
And how many fucking hours of curling did you broadcast? Sweet Jesus. When I saw that funny commercial about the broadcasters getting all psyched for curling, I thought it was a parody. I didn’t realize there was this pent-up demand.
And then there was Apolo OHNO HE DI-INT. Yes, 8 medals is amazing. But he didn’t skate all that well and got two of his medals because other people fell in front of him. Not exactly the kind of achievement you want to skate around the rink holding up your counting fingers for. Didn’t see Michael Phelps do that. And he won that many GOLDS. In one Olympics. But he does have a great ass. I’d give him a medal for that.