Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Whitey McWhite Said

As I’m waiting for Governor Baby Mama to speak and say something besides “World Peace. I personally believe. The Iraq and South Africa. Gridlock” then flashes a smile so toothy we’ll think she should have WON Miss Alaska (deep inhale) I slobbed through the punditry and came upon this. Some R consultant with a porn stache (uh, tom selleck called . . .) said that George W. had added to the Reagan Republican canon by being a “compassionate conservative.”




Are you fucking kidding me? Now I know why the elephant is their mascot. They have balls the size of grapefruits.

You couldn’t have bet me any amount of money that “compassionate conservative” would ever cross a human’s lips again unless it was in a Democrat attack ad.

You’re PROUD of his record of compassion?!!! That’s like saying you’re proud of Laura for not killing her self in some obscure Japanese ritual rife with symbolism about the failure of a husband martyred by a wife. I don’t know. Something like that.

Seriously, though, Bush has shown almost zero compassion towards anyone. Including Laura. His entire legacy is built on EXACTLY OPPOSITE that philosophy. He’s the cowboy. The badass. The gunslinger. He’s the dumbass frat boy. All grown up.

So, I guess the point of all this is that we cannot underestimate the Republi-cons. I’d almost forgotten that their favorite tactic is to take whatever you’ve found out about them that’s negative, then shout it to the rooftops, but saying it in an exclamatory tone and suddenly everyone believes they just did something good.

Please God. No, really.

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