Frank and Deeann Sherman must be ISLANDERS!! Except they live right on the coast. With no barrier between them and the water. Probably a lovely existence.
When there isn’t a gigantic hurricane aimed at your front door.
Fortunately, the Shermans have an attic. And rather than hopping in the car and heading north, they decided to ride Ike out. (Who knows, maybe that’s been Deeann’s fantasy since the 50’s).
Now, for the play-by-play, let’s go to Deeann.
"The ocean rose up like a big hand and went through the house," said Deeann Sherman, 59. "We were in the attic 24 hours, holding on and praying. It was such a mean storm. It was the longest storm I've seen in my life."
Holding on and praying. I see. Maybe “packing up and leaving” would have been a better combo. But we’ll get to that.
Now that there’s nothing left of their belongings but some old waterlogged Elvis cassettes and a ceramic poodle lamp with oversized lips, the Shermans have decided to leave their little piece of paradise and move to the Dallas area to be closer to their kids.
"There's a passage in the Bible that says woe be to those who live on the coast," she says. "I'm going to heed that warning. … I'm leaving."
Okay Miss Vacation Bible School 1956, thank you for the delicious helping of irony. Too bad you didn’t read your bible BEFORE the “big hand” smacked your stupid ass. You know, when all of those nice folk were telling you to GET THE FUCK OUT. Maybe then you would have seen a passage about how much God wishes you had some fucking sense. Although I doubt God used that exact language.
If I were your kids, I’d leave “the Dallas area” before you got there. With no forwarding address. Stupid-ness is NOT next to Godliness. No matter how many times you practice saying it in the mirror.