Monday, May 5, 2008

Does This Checkered Flag Make My Ass Look Big?

I’d like to offer a belated “congrats” to Danica Patrick for being the first woman to win an Indy style race. I’m sure that will open the door for at least two more women out there who have dreams of compensating for their missing penises by driving around in circles REALLY fast. I mean, that’s why the guys do it right?

The best part is that Danica doesn’t have a mullet. She has a lovely head of hair and has been able to maintain her femininity in a sport primarily sponsored by cheap beer manufacturers and attended by thousands of men owing back child support.

As I perused the celebratory articles in the paper last week, I came across a photo that left me in tears. Apparently AirTrans is a sponsor of Ms. Patrick or their marketing guy is a consumer of the aforementioned cheap beer. Regardless the airline decided to honor Ms. P by putting her face on the plane and changing the name on the plane to . . . ready . . .


Hot mess! Ferosha! And inadvertently validating to legions of T-girls across the globe. Can you imagine what their flight attendants are like?

"Oh . . . no . . . honey. You need to shut that baby the hell up! I got WORK to do."

"I SAID put your damn seat in the full, upright and LOCKED position! And from the looks of your saggedy ass, I know you know what a locked position looks like."

Of course, I’m sure that no one in the car racing world got the joke. I mean, can you imagine what a NASCAR dad would look like in drag? (A quick scan of Craigslist in quasi-rural areas would probably answer that rhetorical question.)

But all humor aside, I laud Danica Patrick. I think it’s amazing that she crossed that line first. But I still find it amazing that, in a world where people go so fast, it sure took us a long time to get here.


hokgardner said...

I'm glad she won so that she could shut the hell up all the folks who said she didn't belong on the track.

And AirTranica is just plain wrong.

Anonymous said...

I laud Danica Patrick toooo!!