This is beyond the shallow end of the gene pool. We’re talking kiddie pool depth, here.
Reports surfaced yesterday from Alice Springs, Australia (familiar to all Priscilla, Queen of the Desert Fans—and basically no one else outside of Australia) about a guy who put a seat belt around a case of beer to protect it, but failed to do the same for his toddler, who was also riding in the car.
The police were quoted as saying, “This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child.”
Obviously, they’ve never been to the American South.
Ironically, a quick google search turned up a similar incident this past February in Florida. A driver, who also happened to have two crack pipes in her purse (shocking, I know!), strapped a 24-pack of Busch into the passenger seat, but let a 16 month old ride unrestrained in the backseat.
What the police didn’t know is that the woman had traded the toddler’s twin for the beer, and was on her way to pick up some ribs and spicy hot wings in trade for the other one.
In the “Stupid-about-to-be-Canuck” catgory, an immigrant family from the Phillipines left their 23-month old behind as they dashed to make their connecting flight in Vancouver. Apparently FOUR adults were not enough to keep up with ONE child. Each thought the other had the child. They were not aware of the lost article until a flight attendant alerted them. Mid-flight.
Apparently “No Child Left Behind” works just as well in Canada as it does in the U.S.