Friday, January 18, 2008

Paging Mr. Darwin. Mr. C. Darwin.

In the “ya think” category, one of the victims of the tiger “attack” at the SF Zoo (the tiger’s claims of self-defense are starting to be more plausible by the minute) admitted that the three had been smoking weed and drinking vodka before going on their version of “wilding.”

Apparently, they thought standing on the railing of the enclosure and taunting the Siberian tiger would be a really cool way to ride their buzz. They insisted that they never threw anything at the big kitty. Everyone who believes they were able to exercise that modicum of self control, raise your hands.

Exactly.

Their literal buzz-kill was compounded by the fact that the tiger enclosure had a wall that was “4 feet shorter than the recommended minimum.”

Oops.

“My bad!” said the zookeeper.

I’m betting the tiger smelled the weed on the boys and thought, “MMMMM, herb-roasted dumb-ass for dinner.”

My one bit of advice for the surviving boys—if you’re ever struck by this desire again. Stick to the simians. They don’t call it “tigering around” for a a reason.

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