Biting the Hand That Feeds You

So many boys and girls toil away on the fields and courts, dreaming of one day making it to the pros. So why is it that so many professional athletes wind up doing incredibly stupid, self-destructive things? The term “undereducated motherfucker” comes to mind.

So banging away on the football field wasn’t enough for Michael Vick. Being the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft. Signing an incredibly lucrative, long-term deal with the Atlanta Falcons. No, something was lacking. Apparently Michael needed MORE competition and MORE money. So he went with the big dogs. Pit Bulls, specifically. And now he’s facing Federal charges for breeding dogs for fighting purposes, and killing off a bunch of dogs he considered weak.

I guess football just wasn’t butch enough for Mikey. And I hope he enjoys his time in prison, although I can’t imagine that anyone in there will be tough enough to make him his bitch. Pity.

What this really underscores is how pampered our gifted athletes are. We don’t force them to study or achieve academically, as long as they excel on the field. If you don’t agree, listen to any postgame interview. Scintillating. Nothing like a 14-word vocabulary to stoke a conversation (especially when five of those words are, “You know what I’m sayin’?”).

But, come on! Breeding Pit Bulls for fighting? I can hear the banjos from here. And the fact that Mr. Vick did it on the grounds of his McMansion in the woods doesn’t take it out of the “Deliverance” realm. You can take the wheels off the trailer, dude, but it’s still a mobile home.

Way to class it up, Michael. Way to be a role model. I reckon you’ve pissed away fifty or sixty million dollars in future earnings because of this. Not to mention your Urban Cred, dawg.