Tuesday, January 20, 2009


MY last day of bush was actually somewhere in the mid 80’s.

But I felt I should take a moment to acknowledge something here in the last few hours of the Bush “presidency.” You see, most of you are relishing the thought of only occasionally having to see or hear the man. But for those of us who reside in central Austin, we know that he can pop up at any time.

See, they still have friends here. And although it’s FAR more likely to run into Laura “Packaday” Bush (my god, that woman can suck down a ciggy!), there’s still the off chance of an encounter. And I would prefer to let this presidency evaporate like a bad dream.

I actually have a history with this President. When he was Governor of our Great State, I had to work with him a couple of times. It wasn’t pretty. Everything you think about him now, times ten. He was like the privileged, cocky frat boy that found out he’d just come into his trust.

Shortly before he was elected, I was approached by someone I knew well, a politico with ties to the Bush camp, and asked if I would be interested in a White House appointment, should the Governor win. It seems Bush was intent on appointing a gay or lesbian, just for diversity’s sake. I know how hard that is to believe now, given his penchant for far right ululation, but I was quietly impressed that he was even thinking about it. I still said no.

Then, during the transition, I was approached again. In the interim, I had seen an amazing episode of West Wing, where a young Republican girl takes a job at the liberal Bartlett White House because the country belongs to all of us, or some other poignant Aaron Sorkin phrase. I begin to think that having a dissenting voice, no matter how small, might be a positive thing. I was again told that the President-elect had held one slot open for a gay or lesbian appointee. This time, I said “Why not?” The chance to serve my country shouldn’t be taken so lightly. And wouldn’t it be historic?

Oh, I was all up in myself. I’m surprised I could get my head through a door. The process didn’t get very far, however. Mr. Bush decided to give the “gay” appointment to a straight white guy.

In the end, I wouldn’t have lasted very long, had I even been able to make it through vetting. As presentable as I must have looked, you wouldn’t have had to scratch the surface very far to find dirt.

So I stayed home. The Bushes went to Washington. And America begin it’s descent from Mount Olympus.

Today, the trek back up the mountain begins. Good Luck, President Obama! Good Riddance, President Bush. And as we say in the South, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

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