Pay at the Pump

So, Exxon Mobil posted another record quarter’s earnings. And the news was met with . . . a gigantic yawn. I have to admit, even I am overstimulated by the numbers. The article I read stated that, if one time write offs and profit taking were excluded, Exxon Mobil would have the 10 MOST PROFITABLE QUARTERS IN CORPORATE HISTORY.

So, where’s the outrage? And better yet, where are the conspiracy theorists.

Where are the people questioning the claims that gas prices are rising because of supply and demand, yet the profits are rising even faster. Sounds like a load of fossil bullshit to me. But what do I know? Maybe if we have lower gas prices the terrorists win. Although I’m thinking that the terrorists are Saudi and most of the profits on oil are Saudi . . . could there be a connection? Nah. Surely the press would have picked up on something like that. If they weren’t a bunch of ostriches with their heads buried in the White House lawn.

It’s funny how the press appears to have wilted in the face of the Bush Administration’s misdeeds. And make no mistake, these gas prices, and these oil company profits, are directly linked to the Bushy policies.

I hear lots of chatter at social gatherings. Biting criticism between canapés and cocktails. But where’s the action. I’m no advocate of violence, but I’m curious why no one as Malotov’d an ExxonMobil station. Or at least picketed.

But we don’t have a right to gasoline at low prices. That would make us Venezuela.

So, let’s start a new movement. Let’s call it, “Put it in P!” No, wait. That would lead to far too many jokes at my expense.

Let’s call it, “Put it in Park!” That’s right. Don’t drive. Walk. Take the bus. Ride your bike. Work from home (talk about casual Fridays!).

Are you with me?!?!? Let’s GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Wait, aren’t y’all coming? Where’d everybody go?

Pussies.