Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Pope Fucks Up Again

In spite of all my rantings to the contrary, I think that religion can serve a very useful purpose. Mostly in the area of coping, where one can hand off one’s worries to a “higher power” and in the areas of moral compass. The problem lies with those whose compass doesn’t ever move. It always points in only one direction, with no room for outside facts or influence.

Those people would probably call this faith. I tend to think of it more as The Ostrich Syndrome.

The latest example is Her Highness Princess Redpradashoes, also knows as Pope Benedict. BTW, if you’re a hard-core Catholic, you might want to navigate away, or just go ahead and damn me to a fiery hell in the comments section.

The Popita is on a visit to Africa and the first damn thing she had to say was that condom use isn’t the answer to the AIDS crisis in Africa. Now, I haven’t actually had sex with the Pope, but according to my sources, Miss Cardinal was quite the habituĂ© of the gay scene in Rome. Once he ascended to the papacy, he of course returned to the celibate life all popes live (bwah-ha-ha-ha). And I’m guessing that the only reason he lived long enough to become pope was the fact that he used a condom while he was “ministering” to the flock. Also known as flocking.

Once upon a time, the church was like government. They were the moral authority, the civic authority and a way of creating community and fellowship. However, the world has changed. And archaic traditions for the sake of tradition should only be trotted out on special occasions, like . . . Saint Patrick’s Day!

And as fun as sex is, if it qualifies as a “special occasion,” then you’re not getting enough. Which may be exactly the point for Pope Prissypants. Your role in this world is to DO GOOD. NOT EVIL. But I guess that’s hard to figure out when you went to Nazi Youth camp as a boy.

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