Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Lending a Helping Hand

So, when did Scientology become everyone’s caregiver. They dispatched a team to Virginia Tech in the aftermath of the shootings. And now Tom Cruise is promoting the "New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project." Tom, who is looking more and more like Jason Schwartzman every day, was in New York recently for a fundraising gala for his project.

Sounds like a wonderfully altruistic thing, doesn’t it? I thought I’d check out their website.

“Only one method for reducing body levels of toxic chemicals has been widely implemented, studied and demonstrated to be safe and effective: the detoxification program developed by L. Ron Hubbard.”

Uh . . . wasn’t L. Ron a fiction writer? But . . . then . . . that would throw into question the entire validity of Scient . . . ohhhhhh!! Never mind.

The specific treatment includes exercise, sauna bathing, and vitamin, mineral and oil supplements. Hmmm. A bunch of hunky NY firefighters and policemen sitting in a sauna? No wonder Tom Cruise is so supportive. I bet the “oil supplements” are made by KY.

I tried to upload a photo from the official website, showing Tom and a bunch of rescue worker holding their loosely clenched fists in front of them (check it out here: http://nydetox.org/the_project.htm). Apparently this is one of the more common methods for removing the toxins from the bodies of hot rescue workers.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think anything that helps the brave firefighters and cops who survived 9/11 is a good thing. In fact, I’d kind of like to volunteer.

1 comment:

hokgardner said...

Every year the captain of B's softball team comes up with a list of potential team names that they vote on. This year's front runner, for a while, was "Tom Cruise is Gay." The other, which offended me and cracked me up at the same time was "Rhymes w/ Mammal Poe." Instead, the dull guys on the team voted for something boring. But the team captain was willing to take on Tom and his attorneys, since Tom sues anyone who says he's gay.