Friday, November 9, 2007

What's This For?

I have this theory that one day recently, Georgie W. was playing around in the Oval Office, opening and closing drawers in his big desk when he came across a big rubber stamp. “What’s this big VOTE stamp for,” he said.

“Oh, Mr. President, it’s not a VOTE stamp, it’s a VETO stamp. That’s what you use when you don’t like what the Congress is doing,” said the loyal aide, questioning whether this job would really be as big a resume builder as he hoped.

Georgie’s eyes grew big. “Uncle Dick says I should NEVER like what this new Congress does.” And with that he began jumping around the office (God, don’t you wish for a sharp corner now and again) stamping things and clamoring, VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!”

The aide gently took the stamp and president in hand. “No, sir, not on the furniture. On the bills. You VETO the bills.”

Giggling, Georgie W. said, “You said Bills. You mean like Clintons? Can I stamp Miss Hillary? You know behind that door right over there is where he put his thing in that lady’s mouth? I’m not allowed to go in there.”

“No, Mr. President. These kind of bills. The ones Congress sends you. Here,” he said, sitting him down behind a stack.

Fairy tale? You tell me.

How else do we explain the fact that for his first five years in office, Bush didn’t veto a single bill. Guess it was more important to make it look like a harmonious, lovefest between the Hill and the hillbilly.

Since then, he’s taken to using his veto. He killed a stem cell research bill (because people would start cutting fetuses out their mother’s wombs while they slept), an Iraq funding bill (because it would pull troops out of Iraq), and a bill to fund health insurance for kids (toughens 'em up).

But yesterday, something new happened. The Congress voted to override our suddenly trigger-happy cowboy. And by an overwhelming margin. The Water Resources Development Act, which provide resources mostly to areas fucked up by Katrina, then fucked over by FEMA. It also provides resources to preserve Everglades wetlands.

Way to grow a pair, Congress. Although I can’t believe that you haven’t figured out how to get ANY bill passed. All you have to do is put the words “al Qaeda” in there somewhere. Al Qaeda in New Orleans? How about a billion? Bin laden hiding in the everglades? How much do you need?

Trust me, with Georgie’s brain, it will take a while for him to catch on. Imagine how much good you could do.

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