Surely at Least One K Stands for Kracker?

I know you’ve all been waiting for the latest installment of KKK news, right? Well, one faction is being sued in Kentucky court by a Panamanian man who was attacked by two of their members. The point of the suit is to bankrupt this cell and force them out of business.

I, for one, am still a little shocked that the KKK still exists. (I wonder if that particular brand of retardation could be cured by stem cell research?) Of course, I could jump back on my soap box about education funding in this country. As if the recent Republican presidential campaign doesn’t deserve it’s own PSA for retardation. By the way, I LOVE the word “retarded.” I know it’s not PC, but I don’t really give a fuck anymore. The literal definition of retarded is “delayed or held back in terms of progress, development or accomplishment.” By that definition, the Republicans and the Klan are RETARDED! Maybe they should give THEM their own Olympics.

They could have events like effigy building, cross burning, dangling participles, fear tactics, misquoting Jesus. I’m not sure what they’d have for the Klan.

But I digress. A few points for your mid week amusement about these Klansmen.

The two men on trial: “Imperial Wizard” Ron Edwards (sounds like a Harry Potter reject) and “Grand Titan” Jarred Hensley. Sadly, there appear to be no Poobahs in the Klan.

Two others settled out of court: “Exalted Cyclops” Joshua Cowles and “Imperial Gothi” Andrew Watkins. Okay, I’m nearly peeing myself over these titles. They sound like something you’d see scratched on a junior high boy’s book cover.


I-Wiz Edwards is, you guessed it, defending himself. And he plans to “prove that I teach them not to go out and commit violence.” Perhaps he thinks one of those K’s stands for Krishna? Or maybe he left his eighth grade diploma in his other white robe.

And speaking of their costumes, why is it that their pointy white hats resemble nothing more than dunces caps? Oh, yeah. Never mind.

In a related, but wholly symbolic gesture, I think I’ll go change my sheets now.