Babes in Thailand

So USA TODAY has one of those, “ya gotta be fuckin’ kidding me?” stories in today’s edition.

It seems that Ms. Jaeyana Beuraheng of Thailand got on the wrong bus in Malaysia. She meant to go to her home in Southern Thailand, but instead wound up in Bangkok, 800 miles away. In 1982.

Yep, that’s right. This brainiac Thai Master not only got lost. She got stuck there. Apparently, she speaks a rare Muslim dialect, common only in southern Thailand. Unable to make herself understood, she wound up in a "social services hostel." Apparently, Southern Muslim Thailand is the equivalent of Alabama.

But wait a minute--don’t Muslims ALWAYS know which way Mecca is? Perhaps that’s a skill set that might have other applications? Ya think?

Jintana Satjang, a director at the hostel, was quoted as saying, "We thought she was a mute." (If you say that with a southern AMERICAN accent, it’s really funny). Hey, dumbass! Mute means you can’t speak. Not that you speak a different language. Have another hit off the Thai stick. (and pass it).

TWENTY FIVE YEARS later, a couple of students from her home province just happened into the hostel (apparently backpacking isn’t big with the Southern Muslim Thai set) and after exclaiming, “Whoa, Dude!” in their obscure patois, “struck up a friendship” with the lost cause, “and she was able to tell them how she became separated from her family."

What? You couldn’t pick up ANY of the language being spoken around you daily for the last 25 years?!?! You had to wait until a mini-tribe of your peeps showed up.

"I thought I would die (at the hostel) in Phitsanulok," Jaeyana said. See, she DID know where she was.

The headline read “Lost for 25 Years Because She Got on the Wrong Bus.” The short bus will do that to you.