Monday, August 29, 2011

LUV, deux.

Since that last post was so long, I decided to give the second story it’s own little spot. Once again, on Southwest. This time with Paula Deen’s less successful sister as one of our flight attendants. GAWD, that molasses voice over the loudspeaker! I just wanted to slather myself in butter and beat somebody to death with some extra-crispy bacon. Yawwwl.

But it wasn’t her voice, as much as the one thing she did that just chaps my ass beyond all recognition (digression: can you chap an ass in assless chaps?). The lovely dumbass sitting in the bulkhead committed her first offense by putting her back further down the aisle, the backtracking to get the bulkhead seat.

Great. Now when the door opens, we’ll have to wait for Miss Einstein to block the aisle and fight the departing hoard like a horny Alaskan salmon to retrieve her bag. Of course, she was also bright enough to think she could put all of her personal belongings on the floor at her feet, an act that pretty much anyone who has ever even SEEN an airplane, knows is a no-no.

But L’il Deen was having NONE of it.

“Yew cain’t put yer bag there, hun. It’s gunna hafta go in tha overhead bee-uhn.”

When the woman looked at her quizzically, L’il punted. “Sorry. It’s not MY rule.”

Yes, you sorry sack of shit. It is absolutely YOUR rule. YOU are the airline. YOU (and all the other flight attendants in the world) make damn sure we all understand that you are NOT a sky hostess, but an important piece of the safety puzzle. YOU ARE responsible for maintaining a certain safety level in the cabin, and this exact issue is one of the primary safety precautions for which you are responsible.

Yes, I know that it’s waaaaay more important to be liked by a passenger, but come on. Own it. It’s your job. And your job means you support and enforce the rules, not undercut them with your own fear of being disliked.

I see this particular trait more and more across our great land. This unwillingness to accept responsibility, even when some unpleasantness ensues.

“It’s not MY fault!”

Yeah. It is. So very many things that are wrong with our country right now are your fault.

Of course, I had to walk right past her on my eager debarkation. I cringed as she said, “bah bye! Thank yewwww!”

Well, at least she got the “ewww” part right.

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