Tuesday, May 11, 2010

In your FACEbook!

So, I’m chatting on Facebook with one of my LTBFFs and I see, under “Suggestions” that perhaps I should friend Waterloo Records. Being a longtime devotee of this Austin institution, I thought it was a lovely suggestion, even though I NEVER take Facebook’s suggestions. So I bit.

Well, apparently the friendbot inside remembers all those slights.

The moment I clicked through to become friends with Waterloo, I was accosted by the following message:

Too Many Friends.

Sorry. This user already has too many friends.

Then, to add insult to injury, the only option I have is to click, “okay.” But it’s not okay!!! I suddenly feel like I’m back in junior high and everybody got invited by me. So, I go their Facebook page and they have this totally random number of friends, like 4,997. WTF? You can’t squeeze in one more? Not even one more you fucking solicited, like some big-dicked evangelical Republican in a men’s room?

And guess what? I can see all of my friends that are their friends. It’s all the cool kids, of course. Laughing and singing and playing all the cool records they got at Waterloo.

Then I glanced at a handful of the other people on the list. I knew several of them And they SOOOOOO don’t deserve to be there. They are NOT that good a friend to Waterloo. I’ve been a far better friend, but here I am . . . on the outside looking in.

In the words of Bob Schneider (whose albums I ALWAYS bought at Waterloo), “World goes round. World goes A-round. World goes ‘round and around.”

Like a record baby. True dat.


drax said...

You'll find there are many more Austin friends that you want to add now that you no longer live in the neighborhood. I've seen it before (my hubby has it bad for all things Texas) It's just nostalgia seeping in, don't let it get the better of you.

But don't feel ostracized, I bet they wouldn't make a very good friend anyway. Would they come pick you up at the airport when you come and visit? would they buy you dinner or a gift (of music) for your birthday? Would they???

(I have much more to say, but it's not clever or witty)

kat007 said...

You've seen this, right?
South Park: You Have 0 Friends
Original Air Date: 05.07.10