Keeping Our Borders Safe From Men in Dreds

Guess last week the terror alert was Orange and BLACK. Happy Halloween at the Department of Homeland Security. While I was slogging through airport security, fully expecting a cavity search, our protectors threw a costume party to celebrate the season.

Now, they’ve got some ‘splainin to do.

See, one of the revelers dressed up in prison stripes, donned dredlocks and put on darkened-skin makeup. The panel of judges, all Republican appointees, no doubt, praised the concept for it’s “originality.” Are you fucking kidding me? When did blackface become “original?” Have these ‘tards not heard of Al Jolson? Did they miss the whole Whoopi Goldberg Friars Club dustup a few years back? Have they never been to a frat party in the South?

Julie Meyers, head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement for the Department of Homeland Security was one of the judges. Meyers, who is whiter than wonder bread, apologized for the incident. But only after people complained. She said a “few of the costumes” were “inappropriate and offensive.” Funny, none of the other costumes made CNN.

And then, in true Federal fashion, she sent out a memo reminding all employees to be compliant with the department’s diversity training requirement (seriously!). Might I suggest she sign up for a refresher course herself.

The real kicker? Apparently most people didn’t realize he was wearing makeup. Unnnnh-huh. Would that be because you’re all a lying sack of shit? Or because Republicans avert their eyes uncomfortably when they think a black person is in the room?

Ms. Meyers said she was deeply saddened by the incident. “All I could think about was poor Mr. Shuffles, the porter at our country club when I was growing up. That wasn’t his name, of course. We never knew his real name. We just called him that because it’s how he walked. But he was the nicest darki . . . uh, negr . . . uh, man. I would hate for him to think that the little girl he made Arnold Palmers for had turned out to be one of those . . . hate people.”

Another man, obviously dressed as Osama bin Laden, was awarded the prize for “Best Cash Cow” and “Best Scapegoat”