Hey, Teacher! How Many Times Does 13 Go Into 25?

Okay, how about the 25 year old Nebraska school teacher and her 13 year old latin lover, er . . . student?

She loved him soooooo much that she decided run away with him to Mexico. Only problem? (okay, it was one of MANY problems)

HE’S AN ILLEGAL ALIEN!

So, Missy, not only are you a stupid fucking child molesting bitch, but you basically just deported the poor boy, involuntarily separating him from the rest of his no-doubt-hardworking family. And his booty call. High marks, teacher.

And lest you take issue with the word “involuntarily” let me point out that a 13 year-old’s penis only THINKS it makes grown up decisions. Those hormones trump reason EVERY time. And that is an infallible defense. Hell, I would have gone to Wal-Mart if it got me laid at 13.

Funny, I always think of teachers as being smart people. But this woman put the “um“ in dumb. I mean, come on she’s a MATH teacher for God’s sake. Can she not subtract 13 from 25?

My favorite was when the boy sent her a note calling her his “Baby Gurl.” Okay, could you at least correct his fucking spelling? And I love the mug shot. Or, actually, I guess it was her school photo from 2006. When her boyfriend was 11. Uh-huh, I know.

But again, she's a math teacher.

And what about the Nebraska school system? What were they doing to protect our children?

Didn’t anybody wonder why she kept singing “De Colores” over and over again? Didn’t anybody wonder why she kept asking if her culo looked fat in those jeans? Didn’t anybody wonder why she kept a poster of Mary Kay LeTourneau in her classroom? Didn’t anyone wonder why she always had the freshly fucked look after 4th Period?

And isn’t Nebraska a red state? They probably figured since he was illegal, he was on his own. In fact, they’ll probably reimburse her for mileage.