Another Smart One Falls

For the last two days, I’ve been in a bit of a state of shock. Upon awakening yesterday, I learned that Benazir Bhutto had been killed. I have long been a fan of this amazing woman and was very hopeful about the leadership and change she could bring to her beloved country, ripped asunder by the forces of terror and jihad. Before Al Qaeda became part of our vocabulary, there was a particualry treacherous band of idiots called The Taliban.

I can remember my sweet friend Chick impersonating the sexy way the CNN anchor would say “the Taliban” when reporting on the troubles of the day (was it Amanpour?) I would giggle and life would go on.

Point being, terror has resided in Pakistan for far longer than America has really been paying attention. And Benazir Bhutto represented hope for a people terrorized by their own. Imagine if Fundamentalist Christians like Pat Robertson ran America . . . okay, maybe that’s too close to the truth . . . imagine if Southern Baptists ran America . . . SHOOT! That’s not abstract enough either. Whatever.

But now, Bhutto’s dead. First believed to be felled by a suicide bomber, then the victim of a shooter. Now comes word from the Pakistan Interior Ministry that she died of a skull fracture when she hit her head on the sun roof lever of her Land Rover.

Hunh? That’s the best propaganda you can come up with? Her “assassination” was actually a “slip and fall?” So . . . what now? Should all of her supporters say “oops,” and go home? I'm sure that's exactly what the Pakistani government would like.

I can just hear the conversation in the Interior Ministry (read in bad Hollywood Pakistani accent):

Abdul: Lululululu! There is chaos! Bhutto’s death will martyr her. The government will surely fall now! Whatever will we do?

Mo: We cannot allow her a martyr’s death. Perhaps we could say it was an accident?

Abdul: An ACCIDENT?!?!? There were thousands of witnesses. People heard gunshots. They saw her fall. Then the explosion! There are photos and videos! Are you crazy?

Mo: Crazy? Like a fox, maybe. My cousin has a Land Rover just like Benazir’s. It seems like every time I am hanging out of the sunroom, ululating loudly and firing my assault rifles in praise of the Almighty, I bang my head on that little sunroof lever. Oooh, it hurts so much. It brings tears to my eyes. One time I hit my funny bone and the rifle went off. I almost killed my driver!

Abdul: I do not follow . . .

Mo: What if . . . consider the possibility . . . Benazir merely recoiled from the assault, BANGING her head on the little lever! Surely that would crack the skull of a woman—I mean, really, it hurts!! But isn’t it possible that could have killed her?

Abdul: I don’t think so.

Mo: Karim!! Prepare an official release! Find a doctor who will sign off on it! It was all an accident.

CNN BREAKING NEWS: BHUTTO DIED FROM SKULL FRACTURE SUSTAINED WHEN SHE HIT HER HEAD ON SUNROOF LEVER.



Godspeed Benazir Bhutto! The stupid people are still in charge in Pakistan. May your death be a catalyst for the kind of change you would have brought in life.