If Only You Believed Like I Believe

A few weeks back, USA Today published the results of a poll “measuring attitudes toward freedom of religion, speech and the press.” I was absolutely flabbergasted by the stupidity of my fellow Americans. Here are some delicious samples:

55% of respondents believe that the Constitution establishes a Christian nation. (It doesn’t). 75% of those identifying themselves as “evangelical” or “Republican” (there’s a difference?) held that view. And about HALF of Democrats and Independents do.

Don’t say WTF just yet. Hold it. It’ll feel better when you let it out in a second.

58% believed that teachers should be allowed to lead prayers in public schools.

43% think public schools should be allowed to have live nativity scenes WITH CHRISTIAN MUSIC. Having accidentally heard some Christian music, I’m not sure which of these aspects I find more distasteful. A live baby Jesus or some God Jovi (Bon Jesus?) praise singer with a mullet. Or a live baby Jesus with mullet.

50% think teachers should be able to use the Bible as a “FACTUAL text in history class.” 80% think it should be used to teach “literature.”

56% think freedom of religion should apply to all groups. That means 44% DON’T!! I would personally exclude the Baptists and anyone who speaks in tongues.

34% believe the press has too much freedom.

60% believe the media doesn’t try to report without bias (I didn't realize that many people watched FOX).

The best quote? Rick Green of WallBuilders (aren’t walls used to separate?), an “advocacy group that believes the nation was built on Christian principles,” said of the Constitution, “I would call it a Christian document, just like the Declaration of Independence.”

All together now, “WTF?!?!?!?!?” See. Didn’t it feel better to wait?